BELL LAP #32

A FEW FINAL OLYMPIC OBSERVATIONS (October 18, 2000)

A shot putter on steroids! What next?

Yes, these Olympics were full of surprises. That's assuming, of course, that if you were watching here in the U.S., you hid in a closet between viewings. That way you wouldn't already know--through newspapers, websites, or the grapevine--who had won, who had tested positive, and which winning team had paraded around the infield like a mob of peacocks. (Maybe that was it--they were attempting to boost TV ratings by mimicking the network bird.)

Actually, it would have been easier to learn about track and field events in a dark closet than in front of a warm TV. Since there was no way to know which track events, if any, would be covered on any given evening, only the criminally sedentary could possibly have sat there long enough to--hopefully--see the events they wanted to.

And for the record here, it was not just "guys like Don" who hated NBC's Olympic coverage. To date, my barber, my plumber, and the guy who fixes my sprinkler system have all expressed their disgust. And these are not, trust me, running fanatics.

A few more observations:

1) Viewers were so sick of commercial interruptions that Olympic ratings were lower than they've been since Lyndon Johnson was president. NBC fixed this problem by squeezing in additional commercials. Brilliant!

2) If the time change between Sydney and the U.S. was the reason NBC decided to delay coverage, why did they air the few surviving distance races long after prime time? Is 1:00 a.m. more convenient for viewers than 5:00 a.m.?

3) What sober human would televise synchronized diving? I thought something was wrong with my VCR.

4) I was about to apologize to NBC for accusing them of xenophobia--they did, as it turned out, highlight a fair number of non-Americans--when they aired that feature on Russian wrestler Alexander Karelin just before his stunning upset loss to American Rulon Gardner. NBC (knowing, of course, that the prince of evil would lose) had altered Karelin's voice to make him sound like Darth Vader! Those TV execs must really miss the Cold War. Or maybe they were trying to land Karelin a role in "Rocky V."

Here's what I'll try to remember about these Olympics:

1) The men's 10,000, women's 5000, men's 800. I caught these on tape, and they were classic races, tremendously exciting. It's just amazing how few track fans--or anyone else--actually saw them.

2) Steve Holman's online predictions. I have no idea how many were finally correct, but they were all engrossing, entertaining, enlightening (the three N's!). Will someone please put this guy on TV next time so we can get Americans interested in track and field?

3) Cathy Freeman. I can't imagine an athlete standing up to that much pressure and still winning. And shining.

4) Michael Johnson. We're going to miss you, MJ. I'm sure you're not a perfect human, but we're going to remember you as a class act in a tent full of clowns.

And finally, drugs. If you missed it, go back and read Janet Heinonen's "Bell Lap" of two weeks ago. As depressing as drug positives may be, they indicate a system that's at least trying to handle the problem. That system may need a serious overhaul and a new home office, but at least there's a system. And that's more than can be said for the professional sports Americans routinely and naively watch.

Let's continue to push for legitimate drug testing, and expand it so no one who's ruining the beauty of Olympic competition feels safe from punishment. And let's start with NBC programming executives.